Lies We Tell Ourselves

I hate when I hear people say that they don’t care what other people think about them.

“Lies we tell ourselves.”

We all care to some degree what others think about us. We do! And it’s okay. It’s human nature–and we are human, right? We have feelings and emotions. We feel joy, excitement, love and appreciation when we receive compliments, love, congratulations, recognition, etc. We feel hurt, anger, sadness, confusion, fear, and conflict when people reject, speak down to, discredit, and belittle us.

We are emotional beings. God made us that way. So it’s okay to feel emotions. What matters most is what we do with those feelings and the value we give that emotion.

For the longest, I told myself I didn’t care what others thought. I’d fuel myself with thoughts like… “I have lots of friends. I’m a good person. I have a big personality. I’m friendly. And I don’t care what people think about me.”

“Lies we tell ourselves.”

Finally I came to realize–I do care. I do! And it was actually my decision to work in this online space that made me realize it.

You see, I thought I was doing great. I was posting and sharing. My audience was growing. However, I discovered that I wasn’t making intimate connections with people. And, thus, it was revealed to me that I was only doing superficial sharing. My social media didn’t have a real person connected to it. I had to start sharing more of me—authentically and transparently.

I froze. I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t do it. I wanted to. In fact, I had a plan to do it. But when it came time to share, or post, or livestream, I’d instead work on some more behind the scenes stuff and postpone the “real” work. I realized I was afraid of rejection. I was afraid of being judged. I was afraid of no one caring; no one finding value.

I was afraid; because I cared about what others thought.

Before I could move forward, I had to deal with that—on a soul level (you know I love getting deep.) And the message that finally got me to my breakthrough was this:

“Not everyone will like you. They’re not supposed to. Some people will reject you for the color of your skin, the sound of your voice, the way you move your hands—just for being you. But those people were never meant for you. The people who are meant for you—the people you are meant to connect with and serve, they will find you. They will listen. They will care; because they are meant for you. And those are the people who matter.”

I found peace in that message. So I show up every day–for myself and the people that matter.

Message to you:  Everyone won’t like you. And, deep down, it does not matter. Because they aren’t supposed to. It may bother you, but you control the value that you give those emotions. Focus on the fact that some people ‘will’ know/like/trust you. And those are the ones that really matter….

P.S. Whatever your journey to freedom…finding purpose, getting over pain, igniting your fire to take action, or finding freedom beyond the scale…I can and will support you in your journey.  Let’s talk about it.  Click HERE to schedule to speak with Aprill!

 

 

Your Life Is Happening Just Like It’s Supposed To….

Did you know that everything that has happened was supposed to?

Truth.

Every blessing. Every disappointment. Every opportunity. Every disadvantage.

Everything that has happened in your life was supposed to happen. There are no accident– no mistakes. It was already written. It’s part of a greater plan– chapters of a larger story.

So relax.

Knowing that things are happening according to plan should give you the grace to love yourself; forgive yourself; trust yourself; and confidently march towards your future.

You haven’t missed out on anything. Anything. Everything that you want is not behind. It’s in front of–waiting.

” For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope in the future.” Jer. 29:11

So be brave. Your future is bright. You are blessed and highly favored. Amazing blessings are waiting on you. You are of royal blood.

Act like it.

Live through the next phase of your life with purpose. Live knowing that your past was on purpose. Believe that your past has a purpose.

Every blessing. Every disappointment. Every opportunity. Every disadvantage.

Everything that has happened in your life was supposed to happen.

But do you believe that your latter years are greater than your former? Do you believe that you are positioned to go onward and upward? Do you believe that your absolute best years are in front of you?

Well, act like it. Show up for yourself. Live life with intent. Stop going with the flow.

Direct the flow. Guide the current. Lead the ship. With intense intent.

How will your remaining chapters be written? Will you help write it or will you just allow it to unfold.

The choice is yours.

P.S. I can support you in your journey. It’s what I do… very well. Let’s chat.  www.bit.ly/consultwithAprill

Do, Be, and Have Everything…

Change is uncomfortable. But I asked for it. I prayed for it.
 
There were so many things that I knew needed to be fixed—to be better—in order for me to become a better version of myself. In order for me to get to my next level in life, I first had to get to my next level in “me.”
 
Mark 2:22 “No one puts new wine into old wineskins.”
 
In order to get to my new, I had to get rid of the old. So regardless of the discomfort, I had to change. Besides, change was going to happen with or without my permission, so I might as well make it work for me and not against me.
 
But, I had my own idea of how change was going to happen. I decided that I’d commit to a 40-day program, filled with lots of prayer, meditation, some fasting, journaling, and other tools to really dig deep and embrace the process. After all, the number 40 has significance in the Bible. Makes sense, right? So I set off on a 40-day mission. And, ironically, change began to happen quickly—or at least the discomfort did.
 
Purging. Poking. Revealing. Shedding. Showing. Shaping. Exposing. Growing. Molding.
 
All of these words describe the process God has taken me through. But, it’s lasted far longer than the magical 40 days.
 
In fact, I’m prompted to write this blog post because God exposed me to myself again this past weekend. My response to a situation made me realize there were some more Band-Aids I needed to peel off to deal with some wounds still lingering.
 
I was shocked, frustrated, upset, sad and embarrassed. All because I didn’t see that one coming. I thought all was well in that area of my life.
 
But change is progressive. It’s ongoing. And when we have a growth mindset, we must become comfortable with being uncomfortable. Because change is required to get to our next level.
 
It’s required for transparency. It’s required for authenticity. It’s required for me to do the soul work that I am called to do.
 
What about you?
 
Are you embracing change? Or are you running from it?
 
I truly believe that women can do, be and have everything they want if they move past their obstacles, embrace change and do the work to live their best, bold intentional life.
 
What do you want out of life that requires you to move to the next level? Are you doing the work? Or are you settling?
 
P.S. I can support you in your journey. It’s what I do… very well. Let’s chat. www.bit.ly/consultwithAprill
 
 

You Are The Creator

When I’m journaling every morning, I have no idea what’s going to come up…until it comes up!  And, today I was drawing a blank.    I felt a little empty.  So, I pulled my daily affirmation out of my jar and it read “I am the creator of the life story I am writing.”

I decided to meditate on that for a few minutes.

I thought about life…my life…and its evolution to the place where I am today. And then I thought about the lives of women in general.  Today we (women) have the freedom to create the life we want. And I get super excited when I speak with women who have dreams and aspirations.  On the other hand, I also speak with many women who have stopped dreaming and having aspirations.

They have stopped dreaming because of the circumstances in their life–family, work, etc. And so, instead of nurturing their dreams and pursuing aspirations, they focus on just living life-whichever way the wind blows. They have responsibilities and obligations…roles to take on…hats to wear.

And so their dreams and aspirations become less and less important.

“I am the creator of the life story I am writing.” That’s quite powerful if you think about.

YOU have the power to highly influence how your story ends.  You can co-create the reality that you want.  But, you have to figure IT out…how to put yourself first…how to establish boundaries that allow you to do YOU and still take care of the other important things in your life.  Sounds so simple, yet it is such a struggle for many.

So many women are still living out the dreams that someone else had for their life.   We care way too much about what others think, holding us back from doing the things that will truly make us happy.  And eventually that gets old.  We start to feel disappointed. And then bitter. And remorseful.

We look back at what could have been…what should’ve been.

Don’t let this be your story…because you are the creator of the life story you are writing.  You are highly influential in how it ends.  Strap up. Take charge. Dream. Aspire. Achieve.

Choose To Lose

You either choose to live the life you want or you choose to live the life you don’t want.

It really is just that simple.

The moment we realize that we are our own worst problem, then change CAN happen.

The moment we get out of our own way, change WILL happen.

It really is just that simple.

Excuses.

I talk to so many women and you’d be AMAZED at how many excuses I hear. Over and over again.

But buried behind those excuses is the truth.

The truth about why we are in the condition that we are in. We’re in the place that we are in, spinning our wheels and doing the same things expecting different results, because we are enablers.
We enable ourselves to live less than we know we truly desire and (deep down) are capable of.

Excuses.

I hate them.

I don’t have time. My kids are too busy. My husband will support me. I’m scared. I can’t afford it. What if I fail? I don’t know what to do.

Blah. Blah. Blah.

Excuses.

The more you keep repeating them, the more you believe them.

Truth moment: When you really, really want something, you will find a way.

Period. It really is just that simple.

So, save your excuses. Face your truth. You choose to live the life you are living. And when you choose to turn around and go towards the life you want, you’ll do it. Whatever it takes.

Ready to get the blueprint to your breakthrough? Well let’s chat. Click HERE now.

But My Husband Doesn’t Support Me!

But my husband doesn’t support me! And my family doesn’t believe in me. My friends don’t encourage me.

I hear it all the time. I see it often. I’ve experienced it much!

We have a dream. A vision. A goal. And we decide to pursue it. We’re excited. We’re nervous. But we believe that it’s OUR time—and that we can do it.

So, we finally step up to make a change:

• lose weight
• start a business
• go back to school
• seek a promotion
• start a new program

Whatever it is–we are excited about it. And everyone else should be too!! Right?

But sometimes that’s not the case.

Sometimes the people we need the most just don’t show up to support us. And it’s frustrating. And disappointing. And discouraging.

We struggle with how to feel about it.

We question their love. We question their support. Sometimes we wonder if there is something else behind it.

Envy? Jealousy? Anger?

But whatever the case, we feel some type of way about it!!

But let’s look at it a little deeper. Are these fillings justified or should we get over ourselves?

I’ve been in this situation a number of times, so I’m sensitive to this issue when my client or others are challenged by it. Rather than help them justify the emotion they are feeling, I often challenge them to see it from the other side of the rainbow.

#1 How many times have you been here before?

Are you a starter and a stopper? Do you frequently set off on achieving a new goal only to fizzle out a short time later? Perhaps you’ve conditioned your friends and family to evoke no emotion to your new adventures because of your lack of follow-through.

If so, that’s okay. It happens. But your past failures don’t count anymore–at least not to you.

“Forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal…” Philippians 3:13

Your past absolutely does not define your future, unless you allow it to. However, your husband/family/friends are not obligated to embrace your new journey with the same passion as you. #sorry #notsorry

You have to earn their buy-in. Show them. Don’t tell them. Your consistency; your results; they will speak for you.

#2 Many people have a hard time embracing change.

It’s life. Most people want to be comfortable. When we are comfortable life is predictable. When we disrupt the status quo, people feel a number of emotions: fear, threat, loss, nervousness.

So, sometimes when we embark on a new journey, the impending change can cause discomfort in the lives of family and friends.

They could feel threatened. They could think they are losing you. They could feel that you are leaving them behind. They could feel that you think you are better.

So many emotions could be behind it.

And there’s only so much that you can/should do to balance that emotion out.

Do I encourage you to strive to be your best and pursue your dreams? Yes. But if those family/friends are important to you, I also encourage you to understand those emotions.

Discuss them. Try to find resolution. But don’t lose you in the process.

Why? Because it is possible to have it all–everything that God has for you.

You just have to find the balance in your life to prioritize yourself (needs/wants/desires) without neglecting the other important things in your life. (Different blog post coming soon)

But it’s possible, if you really want it.

In the meantime, instead of sulking because you don’t have their support, go get some! There are many communities/groups/coaches who are there to cheer you on, provide encouragement, and give you accountability.

Take charge of your life. Success is intentional. You get what you work for–not what you wish for.

Be the change.

And, remember, I’m here to help coach you through to live your best, bold, intentional life. Ready to up-level your life? Let’s talk. Click HERE now.

Stories From Our Past

Financial debt. Childhood abuse. Promiscuity. The black sheep. Unhealthy relationships. Poor decisions.

We all have stories from our past. But some of us have stories that aren’t so pretty.

And we allow them to weigh us down. Literally.
When we allow the baggage from our past to fill up the room (of our life), we don’t leave space for anything else to come in.”

There may be ‘visitors’ that show up–such as temporary happiness, fleeting results, and eluding possibilities. However, because the baggage from our past is taking up so much space, those visitors cannot stay.

We cannot continue to carry our baggage with us and expect the trips we take to be fruitful.

Think about it. You can’t take spoiled, rotten fruit to the fresh market and expect them to be welcome. In fact, they can spoil the rest.  You have to leave the bad fruit behind. You have to throw them out. Because there’s new, fresh fruit waiting for you.

It’s time to unpack your baggage.

Why? Because it doesn’t serve you. Instead, it saps you. It saps you of the future that you dream of—the purpose of your life, the possibilities of your future, the potentials of your dreams. They are stuck waiting outside of the door–because there is no room for them to take up space in your life. You have too much baggage.

It’s time to unpack your baggage and make space.

******************

What’s the story that you’re stuck in? What’s been holding you back? What has secretly kept you in bondage? What do you need to release?

It’s time. Time to move onward and upward. It’s time to reclaim your life–your future. But first you must be willing to change.  YOU.  Not your circumstances.  Not the people in your life.  Sometimes you can’t change them.

The change will happen in you. And change can be uncomfortable.  That’s why many people settle for a life that they feel is less than the one they truly deserve.  They don’t want to endure the discomfort/the effort/the work that is required in the change process.  But if you want to get something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something that you’ve never done.
You must be willing to change.  Get out of your comfort zone; because the magic happens outside of the comfort zone.

You have to deal with IT in order to heal from IT. No more pretending. No more tucking it away. No more covering it up. You’re only hurting YOU.

And you deserve to be great. You deserve to be healthy. And happy. And whole. In all areas of your life.

It’s time to move out of your pain into your purpose.

Unpack your baggage; it’s time to make space.

Get unstuck from the story of your past.

Move out of your pain. Move into your purpose.

Let’s do it together. I’m ready to help you get there. One on one. Me and you. Together. Dealing. Healing. Releasing. Moving. Growing. Together.

Are you ready? Let’s chat now. Click HERE to schedule a time for us to speak.

In My Purpose

No mom from an early age. Promiscuity. Insecurity. False confidence. Terrible decisions. Battered. Beaten. Bruised. Hurt heart. Emotional mess. Angry. Defensive. Lost.

Life takes us all through a journey.  But, life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond to it.  It’s not what happens to us, but what happens through us.

I’m so thankful for the rocky road that I’ve been on. It has allowed me great appreciation of the journey of overcoming…of healing…of breakthrough.  It has allowed me to develop a heart of empathy for others. It has allowed me to help and support other women so that they too can overcome.

I pray that God continues to guide me in my journey. To heal me where there is still hurt. To use me where needed. And to give me the courage to continually share my voice.

I don’t look like what I’ve been through, but I wouldn’t trade one minute of it….

 

Walking in my truth: I gained “XX” pounds

Detox. Action. And More