“If you want a different life, tell a different story.”
Over the past few months, I’ve taken a lot of punches. Strong ones. There were a couple of times where I thought it was a knock-out, because I was down for a long count. And as I was down, I began reflecting—looking back at my past struggles, wondering when the bad would stop happening; feeling the unfairness of it all.
I started re-telling myself an old story. It was my victim story. It was the story that kept me in bondage for many years—in bondage to my crazy chaos. I had relationship chaos, health chaos, financial chaos, weight chaos. I was going through the motions of life—allowing myself to be tossed around by every circumstance that arose.
And here I was, years after being delivered…years after being an overcomer with a testimony…years into serving and supporting other women to move past their chaos…and I was allowing myself to get sucked back into the craziness that once was. It didn’t matter that I was inspiring other women. It didn’t matter that I was blogging, connecting and sharing a strong positive message to stir up change in others. It didn’t matter that I was passionate and believed in the process. Nope. The only thing that mattered was the personal story I was telling myself. And I found myself slipping off the deep end. Relationship drama. Money drama. Health drama. Weight drama. Again.
The funny thing is that this time I knew what was happening. I had a front row seat—closely watching. I saw the triggers. I felt the imbalance. My energy was off. I was out of sync. But, I still wanted to be the victim. And yet, I still had to keep a smile on my face—because others were watching. I was living out of alignment—out of integrity—and I knew my crash and burn would come soon. But still, I wanted to stay in this place. I was in “the pit.” And the pit felt good. It allowed me to wallow in my mess. Point the finger. Shift the blame. Basically, I wasn’t responsible for what was happening.
But then I woke up.
Just like that. A series of unfortunate events could lead to my desolation or it could empower my elevation. I climbed out of the pit. I looked in the mirror and owned it.
You see, we have absolutely no power to control all the circumstances around us. Neither can we change other people. And our focus can’t be on “them” or “that.”
Our sphere of influence and greatest ability to elevate change in our lives comes through us. We have to begin to tell a new story—and release the old one. I’ve become convinced that my struggles aren’t about me. God simply uses me and my journey as a message to other women just like me. And today I share this:
If you want a different life, tell a different story. Stop being a victim. That is not where your power lies. Look in the mirror. Own it—whatever your circumstances are. And focus on you—for that is where your opportunity resides.
Stop worrying about everyone else’s issues. Mind your own business. Tend to your own house. And be the change you want to see.