Be The Expert On You !


BUT what saddens me more is how often we judge ourselves.  And that judgment typically stems from the thoughts and opinions of others.

Last night I had a coaching session with one of my clients.  We were talking about embracing who we are. She was telling me how the people at work call her “the warden” and her husband calls her the “bad cop.”  Those labels really bothered her because she said she didn’t want people to think of her in that way.

I listened for awhile and then said, “Well, we know who they say you are, but who do you say that you are?”  She had trouble clearly articulating who she was “beyond” the roles that she played.  And THAT was the problem.

Often women get so caught up in the roles that they play and the many hats that they wear that they don’t know who they are outside of that. So, when people begin to label them, its easy to start owning those opinions.

Her job where they call her the warden is just a “role” that she plays—a hat that she wears. That hat is on the “outside” of her body.  She puts the hat on every morning and takes it off at night.  But who she really is is defined by what’s on the inside.  And until she or “we” are crystal clear on who we are on the inside, we become vulnerable to the stories that other people tell.

The greatest gift that we can give ourselves is “to thine own self be true.”  Be the expert on you!


Success Is An Inside Job

Success is an inside job.

Success is an inside job. Click To Tweet

Hmmmm.  Sounds catchy, but what does that really mean? A person/business/organization is not successful because of the practices/processes/habits that you see them performing consistently in their “outer” life.  Nope.  The real key to their success is rooted on the inside.

Business Example:  Walmart.  The conglomerate is not successful because they are 24 hours, have rollback prices and serve as a one-stop-shop.  Yes, these are winning practices that support their success.  But their true success is rooted on the inside.  On the inside is where the framework and foundation were established—the culture, the mindset, the philosophies—the things that guided the company’s outside practices.  Their true success happened on the inside—in their blueprint for success.

Person Example:  Last Saturday I had an initial meeting with a new client.  She’s been on a rollercoaster with her weight loss for many years.  But in reading through her paperwork, I could definitely tell that she’d learned some really good habits. She knew about what she should eat and how she should train her body. I was impressed. Yet, she was 150 lbs. overweight.  Why?  Because she was focused on finding her success on the outside—nutrition plans, exercises, surgery—whatever could quickly get her to change.

But nothing worked, because her inside was a mess.  She had issues on the inside that needed to get in check so the action she took would be aligned action—where the inside (her foundation) could guide her to the true success she wants.

What are you hell-bent on fixing from the outside that you can’t seem to find success in? Perhaps you need to pause and look inward for your success. We already possess everything that we need to be successful but many of those tools are lying dormant in us because we do not use them.  Because we don’t have time.  Or we fear failure. Or we don’t know where to start.  Or we’re lazy. Whatever your reason is for not being successful, it’s your CHOICE.  You are choosing not to WIN because you refuse to take aligned action and deal with YOU. 

Yeah, I know. It’s much easier to follow a plan.  Or create a list. Or buy a solution. But, how many times will you fail before you submit and choose to focus on YOU?  The real issue.  The “inside” issue. If you’re ready for success in your life, start inward. #unlockyourpotential #Intoyourpower #intoyourpurpose #IYP2

If you’re ready for success in your life, start inward. Click To Tweet

Because success is an inside job. Enjoyed this post?  Well sharing is caring!  

I Am My Past

This morning I was pulling up an app to find a daily prayer to share with some friends in a group text, and this is what came up. It stirred my spirit so deeply that I decided to write.
You see, for years I fought to get beyond my past. I wanted change. I wanted a renewed spirit. I wanted things to take a new direction. I wanted to get past the things in my past, because those things diminished me; smothered me; and tried to take the life out of me. I wanted a bright future, so I needed to move on.
However, it was years before I realized that my past will never leave me. I am my past. I am a culmination of all the things that have happened in my life. They have shaped and molded me into the person that I am today. There is no escaping that.
And what I’ve also discovered is that my power came when I learned to laugh in spite of my past. When I learned that my past could bring new joy in my future, I began to embrace it differently.
I can laugh harder, because I’ve cried. I can love harder, because I’ve been hurt. I can live louder, because I’ve been quiet. I can grow stronger, because I’ve been weak.
I have an appreciation for my past, because I’ve discovered how to embrace the purpose in it. I’ve learned how to extract power from it.
And so, even in the present when troubles arise, I laugh hard. I smile hard. I love hard. I give often. Not because life is necessarily good at this moment, but because I have faith in what is to come.
More favor. More purpose. More growth. More blessings.
Don’t let anything quiet your laughter. And don’t let anyone erase your past.
Enjoyed this post?  Well sharing is caring!  

Tell A Different Story

“If you want a different life, tell a different story.”

Over the past few months, I’ve taken a lot of punches.  Strong ones.  There were a couple of times where I thought it was a knock-out, because I was down for a long count.  And as I was down, I began reflecting—looking back at my past struggles, wondering when the bad would stop happening; feeling the unfairness of it all.

I started re-telling myself an old story.  It was my victim story.  It was the story that kept me in bondage for many years—in bondage to my crazy chaos.  I had relationship chaos, health chaos, financial chaos, weight chaos.  I was going through the motions of life—allowing myself to be tossed around by every circumstance that arose. 

And here I was, years after being delivered…years after being an overcomer with a testimony…years into serving and supporting other women to move past their chaos…and I was allowing myself to get sucked back into the craziness that once was.  It didn’t matter that I was inspiring other women.  It didn’t matter that I was blogging, connecting and sharing a strong positive message to stir up change in others. It didn’t matter that I was passionate and believed in the process.  Nope. The only thing that mattered was the personal story I was telling myself.  And I found myself slipping off the deep end.  Relationship drama.  Money drama.  Health drama.  Weight drama.  Again.

The funny thing is that this time I knew what was happening.  I had a front row seat—closely watching. I saw the triggers.  I felt the imbalance.  My energy was off.  I was out of sync.  But, I still wanted to be the victim.  And yet, I still had to keep a smile on my face—because others were watching.  I was living out of alignment—out of integrity—and I knew my crash and burn would come soon.  But still, I wanted to stay in this place.  I was in “the pit.”  And the pit felt good. It allowed me to wallow in my mess.  Point the finger. Shift the blame.  Basically, I wasn’t responsible for what was happening.

But then I woke up. 

Just like that.  A series of unfortunate events could lead to my desolation or it could empower my elevation.  I climbed out of the pit.  I looked in the mirror and owned it. 

You see, we have absolutely no power to control all the circumstances around us.  Neither can we change other people.  And our focus can’t be on “them” or “that.”

Our sphere of influence and greatest ability to elevate change in our lives comes through us.  We have to begin to tell a new story—and release the old one.  I’ve become convinced that my struggles aren’t about me.  God simply uses me and my journey as a message to other women just like me.  And today I share this:

If you want a different life, tell a different story.  Stop being a victim. That is not where your power lies.  Look in the mirror.  Own it—whatever your circumstances are.  And focus on you—for that is where your opportunity resides. 

Stop worrying about everyone else’s issues.  Mind your own business.  Tend to your own house.  And be the change you want to see.

Now I Do What I Want

So many people have given me such encouragement as I closed out a huge chapter of my life last week and walked away from an amazing job to go forth into the unknown. I am so at peace today.

No, I haven’t retired. Ha! Far from it…but I’ve taken away my comfort zone—my plan B—so I can step out on faith and see what I’m really made of. I am fully vested as a solopreneur who is committed to doing work that “feels good.”

I prayed for this. I prepared for this. And I positioned myself for this. I made tough decisions. I traded in my Merc Benz GL450 and got a Sonata (temporary). I paid off some debt. I curbed my spending…all so that when God opened the door, I could boldly walk through and press forward without sacrificing my family and their needs.

On January 1, 2017, I declared that this year would be #epic. I planned to laugh a lot, spend lots of time with friends, fully pursue my purpose and live life on my terms. So far so good. And I know that the best is yet to come.

As I continue to connect with women from all areas/walks of life to help them get their happy back, I will continue to live authentically, transparently and always true to myself. The best gift that I can give is to share me—authentically. Love it or leave it. So, if you’re with me, . If not, block me now because it’s about to get REAL.

Because…”now I do what I want.”

No Looking Back

“If you’re always looking back at what you’ve lost, you’ll never discover the treasure that lies just up ahead.” -Spearman

Each and every one of us has regrets. We have would’ve, could’ve, should’ve moments. We know there are times we should’ve made better decisions, better choices, or used better judgment.

But we didn’t. And now we can’t do anything about it. Because it’s in the past. And we cannot allow our past to choke out our future.

Perhaps it’s not YOU that did the damage in your past. Perhaps it was what someone else did to you. And, no matter how hard you try, you can’t completely get over it. But…you have to. Because as long as you hold onto what they’ve done to you, you allow them to continually influence, impact and navigate your future. They are still winning.

Regret. Bitterness. Anger. Hurt.

When they take root, they choke out the amazing future that God has for us. We can never discover the treasures that lie ahead. Think about it. The Bible asks the question, “Can both freshwater and saltwater flow from the same spring?”

Can love, joy, peace, prosperity, and abundance exist in the same space as bitterness, anger, regret, hurt, and contempt?

No. One side will eventually choke out the other.

Flowing from our hearts are the issues of our hearts. What’s in us will eventually come out. Do you want anger, hurt, and resentment to flow out from your heart?

When we are continually reflecting on what was, we cannot focus on what lies ahead. What is it that you want expelled from your heart so you can let go of the past and move forward?

Your latter days can be greater than your former days—if you so believe. And if you choose to walk “in” that declaration and “towards” that declaration, mighty things will happen.

Let go of your past. Don’t allow it to choke out your future. Be great—YOUR version of great. Live YOUR extraordinary life. Be future-focused.

God has amazing things in store for you. And your latter days will be greater than your former.
So, be great.

P. S. Are you ready to leave the past behind and step into your purpose? Your latter days shall be greater than your former. Let’s talk now.➡️

Do You Want To Be…

If you want to be successful, stop doing what unsuccessful people do.
Complaining. Making excuses. Looking for handouts. Sleeping in. Being too cheap to invest in yourself. Settling.
(Hit dogs holla.)
Do what successful people do.
Own it. Do the work. Find a way. Whatever it takes. Invest in themselves. Wake up early. Expect excellence. At any cost.
I am empathetic to women who are lost in some struggle and want to fix it.
I am not sympathetic when those women don’t own it. Do the work. Find a way. Whatever it takes. Invest in themselves. Wake up early. Expect excellent. At any cost.
I do it. Every day. Regardless of how I “feel.” Regardless of what other people “think.” Regardless of what they might “say.”
This is about me. This is for me. Not them.
Stop trying to cheat the process. You are only cheating yourself.
PS. If you are ready to own it. Do the work. Find a way. Whatever it takes. Invest in yourself. Expect excellence. At any costs. Let’s talk.
I work with women who have their mind made up that their time is now. They are not victims. They don’t make excuses. Their desire to change supersedes their desire to remain the same. Is that you? If yes, we can chat.

Lies We Tell Ourselves

I hate when I hear people say that they don’t care what other people think about them.

“Lies we tell ourselves.”

We all care to some degree what others think about us. We do! And it’s okay. It’s human nature–and we are human, right? We have feelings and emotions. We feel joy, excitement, love and appreciation when we receive compliments, love, congratulations, recognition, etc. We feel hurt, anger, sadness, confusion, fear, and conflict when people reject, speak down to, discredit, and belittle us.

We are emotional beings. God made us that way. So it’s okay to feel emotions. What matters most is what we do with those feelings and the value we give that emotion.

For the longest, I told myself I didn’t care what others thought. I’d fuel myself with thoughts like… “I have lots of friends. I’m a good person. I have a big personality. I’m friendly. And I don’t care what people think about me.”

“Lies we tell ourselves.”

Finally I came to realize–I do care. I do! And it was actually my decision to work in this online space that made me realize it.

You see, I thought I was doing great. I was posting and sharing. My audience was growing. However, I discovered that I wasn’t making intimate connections with people. And, thus, it was revealed to me that I was only doing superficial sharing. My social media didn’t have a real person connected to it. I had to start sharing more of me—authentically and transparently.

I froze. I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t do it. I wanted to. In fact, I had a plan to do it. But when it came time to share, or post, or livestream, I’d instead work on some more behind the scenes stuff and postpone the “real” work. I realized I was afraid of rejection. I was afraid of being judged. I was afraid of no one caring; no one finding value.

I was afraid; because I cared about what others thought.

Before I could move forward, I had to deal with that—on a soul level (you know I love getting deep.) And the message that finally got me to my breakthrough was this:

“Not everyone will like you. They’re not supposed to. Some people will reject you for the color of your skin, the sound of your voice, the way you move your hands—just for being you. But those people were never meant for you. The people who are meant for you—the people you are meant to connect with and serve, they will find you. They will listen. They will care; because they are meant for you. And those are the people who matter.”

I found peace in that message. So I show up every day–for myself and the people that matter.

Message to you:  Everyone won’t like you. And, deep down, it does not matter. Because they aren’t supposed to. It may bother you, but you control the value that you give those emotions. Focus on the fact that some people ‘will’ know/like/trust you. And those are the ones that really matter….

P.S. Whatever your journey to freedom…finding purpose, getting over pain, igniting your fire to take action, or finding freedom beyond the scale…I can and will support you in your journey.  Let’s talk about it.  Click HERE to schedule to speak with Aprill!



Your Life Is Happening Just Like It’s Supposed To….

Did you know that everything that has happened was supposed to?


Every blessing. Every disappointment. Every opportunity. Every disadvantage.

Everything that has happened in your life was supposed to happen. There are no accident– no mistakes. It was already written. It’s part of a greater plan– chapters of a larger story.

So relax.

Knowing that things are happening according to plan should give you the grace to love yourself; forgive yourself; trust yourself; and confidently march towards your future.

You haven’t missed out on anything. Anything. Everything that you want is not behind. It’s in front of–waiting.

” For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope in the future.” Jer. 29:11

So be brave. Your future is bright. You are blessed and highly favored. Amazing blessings are waiting on you. You are of royal blood.

Act like it.

Live through the next phase of your life with purpose. Live knowing that your past was on purpose. Believe that your past has a purpose.

Every blessing. Every disappointment. Every opportunity. Every disadvantage.

Everything that has happened in your life was supposed to happen.

But do you believe that your latter years are greater than your former? Do you believe that you are positioned to go onward and upward? Do you believe that your absolute best years are in front of you?

Well, act like it. Show up for yourself. Live life with intent. Stop going with the flow.

Direct the flow. Guide the current. Lead the ship. With intense intent.

How will your remaining chapters be written? Will you help write it or will you just allow it to unfold.

The choice is yours.

P.S. I can support you in your journey. It’s what I do… very well. Let’s chat.

Do, Be, and Have Everything…

Change is uncomfortable. But I asked for it. I prayed for it.
There were so many things that I knew needed to be fixed—to be better—in order for me to become a better version of myself. In order for me to get to my next level in life, I first had to get to my next level in “me.”
Mark 2:22 “No one puts new wine into old wineskins.”
In order to get to my new, I had to get rid of the old. So regardless of the discomfort, I had to change. Besides, change was going to happen with or without my permission, so I might as well make it work for me and not against me.
But, I had my own idea of how change was going to happen. I decided that I’d commit to a 40-day program, filled with lots of prayer, meditation, some fasting, journaling, and other tools to really dig deep and embrace the process. After all, the number 40 has significance in the Bible. Makes sense, right? So I set off on a 40-day mission. And, ironically, change began to happen quickly—or at least the discomfort did.
Purging. Poking. Revealing. Shedding. Showing. Shaping. Exposing. Growing. Molding.
All of these words describe the process God has taken me through. But, it’s lasted far longer than the magical 40 days.
In fact, I’m prompted to write this blog post because God exposed me to myself again this past weekend. My response to a situation made me realize there were some more Band-Aids I needed to peel off to deal with some wounds still lingering.
I was shocked, frustrated, upset, sad and embarrassed. All because I didn’t see that one coming. I thought all was well in that area of my life.
But change is progressive. It’s ongoing. And when we have a growth mindset, we must become comfortable with being uncomfortable. Because change is required to get to our next level.
It’s required for transparency. It’s required for authenticity. It’s required for me to do the soul work that I am called to do.
What about you?
Are you embracing change? Or are you running from it?
I truly believe that women can do, be and have everything they want if they move past their obstacles, embrace change and do the work to live their best, bold intentional life.
What do you want out of life that requires you to move to the next level? Are you doing the work? Or are you settling?
P.S. I can support you in your journey. It’s what I do… very well. Let’s chat.